


I Know I'm Bad News; I Saved It All for You

by MidnightRedHead



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brodinsons, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Sick Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23455915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightRedHead/pseuds/MidnightRedHead
Summary: Snippets that don't really belong anywhere else or that are scenes I enjoyed from works I've abandoned. There will be some with pairings, some without.Tags will be updated along the way.
Relationships: Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Loki (Marvel), Darcy Lewis/Loki, Loki & Avengers Team, Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 47





	1. Loki/Darcy - The Itsy Bitsy Spider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki/Darcy. Originally from "Adventures in Dating" which I may or may not continue at some point.

Loki enjoyed Saturdays. Darcy was not needed at headquarters, so they would laze about in bed, usually finding some way to contend over who would get up to make breakfast. He always won. Well, not always, but most of the time. Today’s decider had been what Darcy called a ‘thumb war.’ Given Darcy’s petite hands versus Loki’s long digits, it was no ‘war’ but a mere scuffle. With a yawn, the god folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off. 

When he heard Darcy scream, his heart leaped into his throat and he moved with inhuman speed, throwing back the covers and sprinting from the bedroom. His armor morphed onto his form before he entered the hallway, daggers in hand and poised to attack when he entered the kitchen. It took a moment for him to register what was happening, but when he did, he straightened and watched with an expression of bewilderment. 

Darcy was on the kitchen counter, in one hand was a can of what she had once explained was hairspray and in the other was a spray bottle of Febreeze. She was screeching at a large spider on the ceiling, spraying the hairspray with reckless abandon until the arachnid twitched and fell slightly, dangling from a thread of webbing. The movement only served to freak the brunette out even more. She momentarily ducked and covered as if the thing was striking back, but she was soon back to spraying. Finally, the unfortunate creature tumbled to the floor, twitching and unable to crawl to safety. Darcy jumped from her perch and landed a safe distance away, discarding the can of hairspray to grab the Febreeze bottle with both hands. Loki’s jaw was still hanging open, eyebrows elevated as the tiny woman bludgeoned the poor spider until it was nothing more than a smear across the kitchen floor.

She stood over her victim, holding the Febreeze in front of her like a broadsword while she panted and grit her teeth. “Let this be a lesson to all your little buddies!” 

Waving a hand in front of his face, Loki coughed, the chemical scent of aerosol tickling his lungs. Darcy noticed him just as his armor dissolved into his flannel pants.    
  
“Oh, hey! You’re awake!” She beamed. 

“I am.” He deadpanned. “And I believe I just witnessed the most brutal murder in my history of villainy and war.”

Darcy straightened and placed a hand on her hip, still catching her breath. “Oh, come off it, magic man. It wasn’t that bad.”

“I shall warn the Widow of your ability to subdue arachnids with hair products and air freshener.” He scrunched his nose. “Just in case.”


	2. Loki & Brunnhilde: Rescue Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valkyrie finds Loki's body in the debris of the Statesmen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was from the beginning of a multi-chapter fic exploring what would have happened if Valkyrie had returned after being sent away with the people, finding Loki and being left with the assumption that Thor, Hulk, and Heimdall had not survived.

“Get...ready!” Her fingertips brushed the leather, gripping at it over and over to gradually use the momentum in aiding her to pull it closer. Korg’s firm grip on her ankle was the only thing keeping her anchored to the ship, but it was strong enough to quell the anxiety bubbling in her gut. She was completely unsure how she would have been able to pull this off alone. She and the half of the Aesir population that had fled with her, that she had been charged with protecting, were currently safe aboard this Ravager’s ship. Keyword: _currently_.

Convincing them had been easy enough. She had promised them anything of worth aboard the Statesman, and, though she was sure it would be a trivial gesture to procure, she would thoroughly throttle the royal brothers if needed to ensure it happened. Upon their arrival, as tears gathered on her lashes and even Korg was startled into silence, she knew that physical violence would not be necessary.

The mercenaries could simply pluck their bounty from the air.

The Valkyrie had sent word to the people, through a ravager she hoped convincing enough to persuade their trust, to remain in the dining halls and away from the view ports, lest they see their fellow citizens or maybe their royalty floating, frozen and lifeless. She had then stepped forward and pressed her small hands to the glass, searching for any sign of life. Hulk would have been easiest to spot. When no large, green body could be seen, she moved on to looking for Thor. She had barely begun that search when she had seen the green cape.

“There!” She had cried, no longer caring for signs of life, but simply bodies she could give to the people to honor. To mourn. To send off to Valhalla properly.

And now, here she was… the large man of rocks keeping her from being ripped out into the cold void of space as she struggled to grab the prince’s ankle. “Get ready!” She called, her small hand finally finding purchase, gravity working to her benefit to make him easy to pull toward her. Once he was within reach, she quickly wrapped an arm around his slim waist and used the slow momentum to push herself back toward the ship, Korg still clutching her leg. “Now! Enter the code now!” As the hatch closed, Valkyrie tumbled inside still holding onto the prince, coming to a stop sprawled on top of him. He was definitely cold, but not yet frozen. The explosion had been recent. “Korg, search for Thor and any other survivors. If _he’s_ here, then Thor can’t be far away!” She moved off to his side and quickly noted the bruising around his neck. “Lackey, can you hear me?” She gently cupped his face and turned his head to face her, blood-filled eyes staring to a place she knew she couldn’t see. “Loki?” Norns, his skin was cold. A tear fell onto the leather covering his chest as she slid one hand down from his cheek to place her fingertips on his neck. Nothing. “Oh, Loki, no….” _‘I was meant to protect your brother… your brother and you.’_

“I don’t see New Doug.” Korg informed from somewhere behind her and she didn’t bother to correct him, not that she usually did. She had already laid her forehead against Loki’s chest, her smaller form trembling with sobs.

The king, the crowned prince, her friend; all gone. _‘I should have been there. I shouldn’t have let you talk me off the ship.’_

“Hey, Boss is glowing. That’s neat.” Korg spoke again, awe in his voice that confused the warrioress.

“What?” She questioned, sniffing as she sat back onto her knees, the shimmering green of Loki’s right hand reflecting in her dark eyes. “Lackey?”

His eyes remained unfocused, but there was life there now, in the pools of green and crimson. He didn’t answer, didn’t look at her, but a fiercely trembling hand slowly lifted from the floor to his neck and hovered. The room was silent, save for the buzz of seidr that was spitting from the prince’s fingertips. Tendrils, flickering weakly, slithered from his fingers and began to weave into his neck, moving under the abused skin.

“Loki, tell me how to-” She jerked back when she saw more so than heard his vertebrae shift back into place. He dragged in a breath, deep and dramatic, leaving his mouth hanging open in a silent scream, eyes now wide with a tear escaping to run down his temple. His arm began to tremble so fiercely that he seemed to no longer be able to hold it up, though his seidr continued attempting to fight the damage. As his hand pulled away, the seidr flickered and his newly acquired ability to breathe wavered. “No!” Valkyrie cried, grabbing his wrist with both hands to keep his hand close to his throat. For the first time, his eyes traveled over to rest on her, jaw relaxing. The seidr sputtered back to life, jolting through her skin but she refused to let go. “Korg, fetch a healer!”

“But Boss is doing-”

“Not now, Korg! Just _do it_!” Valkyrie knew very little about seidr, but she knew that he was only keeping himself alive…and just barely. “I’ve got you. Just hang on, okay?” His eyes were slipping closed, breaths coming in shallow pants that she could scarcely hear. “Eyes on me, Lackey.” She had meant to command him, but it came out as more of a plea, small and desperate. She could belittle herself over it later. For the time being, she released a shaky breath when he responded, struggling to lift his lids. “That’s right, you can do it.”

“Lady Valkyrie.” A young woman shuffled into the room and lowered to her knees on Loki’s left. “I can take it from here.”

“No,” Valkyrie tightened her hold on the prince’s wrist, “not unless you can stabilize him here. If I move, if his hand drops, he stops breathing.” His seidr was weakening, the static shock against her fingertips dulling. “Whatever you need to do, just do it.” The healer nodded and placed her hands just above Loki’s chest, performing some sort of diagnostic scan. Valkyrie closed her eyes, fighting back the tears, when the younger woman’s breath hitched.

“How is he even _alive_?”

“We’ll ask him later, _after_ you save him.”

The healer nodded and moved her hands to his neck, a golden glow overtaking the green wisps and pushing them aside to create a healing shield around his throat. Loki closed his eyes with a quiet sigh, his arm going limp in Valkyrie’s grasp. Panic stirred in her chest and she reached for his face only to be halted by the healer’s gentle hand.

“He sleeps, Lady Valkyrie.”

She laughed breathlessly, relieved, and furiously wiped at her eyes. With a sniff, Valkyrie took a deep breath and nodded to the healer, who had moved above Loki to keep his head still. She could feel Korg hovering and turned to incline her head in thanks for helping her rescue the prince. _‘No,’_ she thought bitterly, _‘he’s King now…’_ There was a whispered swear as she gently patted the trickster’s chest. “Alright, healer-”

“Alvilda.” The girl smiled softly before she looked away to the other healers entering the room.

“Alvilda,” Valkyrie repeated, “what now?”


	3. The Avengers, Loki, & Brunnhilde: Seeing is Believing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The remaining Avengers confront Thanos and his remaining army 5 years after the Snap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also from the multi-chapter fic where Valkyrie, Loki, and the Aesir believe Thor dead. They didn't take it lightly.

They were wounded, few in number, and surrounded, struggling to hold their own. Thanos, though still in possession of the Infinity Gauntlet, was unable to harness the power without proper repairs to the glove. This did nothing to negate his raw strength without the device. Not to mention his Chitauri and Outriders, flanking the small team at speeds only Stark and Rhodey could handle by staying and firing from above. Even that tactic had reached the end of its usefulness when the Outriders began launching the smaller soldiers at the suited men.

On the ground, Nebula stood tall, one arm missing though it did little to sway her confidence. Rocket was at her side with his weapon trained forward on no enemy in particular. One movement would have ended in a barrage of bullets and Rocket would have been happy to oblige. Clint crouched over the unconscious Nat, bow drawn and arrow notched. Thor was down, but not out, Stormbreaker’s handle still firmly in his grasp. Thanos was hardly affected by the god’s lightning, but Thor was merely biding his time. He  _ would _ aim for the head this go-around. Steve stood out front, Okoye at his side.

Tony threw the last Chitauri body to the side and stood, visor lifting. “Well, I think we could be doing worse.”

“We need those stones.” Thor wiped blood from his lips onto the back of his hand and spat the remainder onto the dusty ground as he approached the Captain. “The Midgardian wizard’s plan won’t work without them.” 

“There are more creatures approaching from the north.” Okoye held her bloodied side and watched the distant hills shadow and darken with Outriders. They would not win this battle. Wakanda would fall without her King. The universe would remain in Thanos’ balance. Friends and loved ones forever lost…

“What the hell?” Steve and the others turned to Rocket, small dark eyes staring into the trees. “Would somebody like to explain  _ this one _ for me?” He motioned with his gun and soon, all eyes rested on the treeline. 

People, a variety of ages, crept from the safety of the trees. Golden armor shimmered, spears pounded the ground in an eerie rhythm that made Steve's hair stand on end. As they advanced out into the open, perhaps little more than a thousand, one straightened to stand front and center. A woman, her sword gradually raising as her voice carried.

“For the people!”

The people echoed her like a cadence, the rhythm of their weapons never faltering.

“For the future!” 

Thor stepped around the Wakanda General and the Captain and sank to his knees. He’d know that brown hair and take-no-shit-tone anywhere. “Valkyrie….” He whispered.

“For the fallen!” 

She was not in her traditional armor, but the sword she held high was without a doubt her Dragon Fang. The helm she bore, gold with short twisted horns with feathered designs he could see from where he sat, reminded him of some combination of his own former headgear and that of….Loki.

“For the King!”

The King? For him? Thor’s brow drew together as he felt a hand grip his shoulder. Did they know he lived? Was he still their king to have abandoned this half of his people for the past 5 years in search of a way to reverse Thanos’ tyranny? 

“For Asgard!” 

Thor heard the gasps of his teammates’ realization. He felt his heart swell with pride for his people and their spirit as their weapons and voices raised, led by the last of the mighty Valkyrie. No one was more suited to have reformed the people into warriors than-

**_“THAAAAAAAAAANOS!”_ **

The people went still and silent….as did Thor’s heart. 

_ ‘That voice… It can’t… It can’t be.’  _

A cyclone formed between the Aesir and the Titan, shimmering and green and powerful, and it had no more than touched the earth’s surface than it collapsed in on itself, tendrils of seidr spiraling outwards to obliterate every Outrider in the direct vicinity. The ground shook beneath Thor’s knees, and he felt Steve’s grip tighten on his shoulder in an attempt to keep his balance. A demonstration of seidr the likes of which Thor had never before seen… 

The dust began to settle, a figure bowed on one knee in its center.

“Thor...”

He had heard Stark but continued to stare, blue eye wet with tears, though he knew he couldn’t dare to hope such a thing. Could he?

But then the figure stood and raised his head, horned helm now clearly visible. His green cape writhed about his lithe form, his remaining armor nearly an exact replica of that which he wore during ragnarok. Except the inscriptions of Mjolnir that now adorned the vambraces over his forearms and the feathers that wrapped around the base of the horns on his helm. He held a weapon in each hand, though they were not the daggers that he normally brandished. Not even as long as the average shortsword, the blades were jagged on either side and clearly made for close combat. 

There was no doubt: Loki was alive.   
  
“Little godling.” Thanos antagonized, crossing his large arms over his chest.   
  
“You took my brother, monster.” The trickster spun the blades expertly. “And now I’ll have your head.”


	4. Loki & Brunnhilde: Swallow All Your Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Valkyrie once again piques Loki's interest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a one shot that never really got going. Set in the Statesman before IW.

Loki’s fingers drummed against the table as Thor addressed what was left of the council. It wasn’t that he was bored, rather that he...well, he  _ was _ bored. Presiding at meetings for a displaced race of people was not the most thrilling of political duties. Yes, he was now the heir to throne. However, it was a throne he no longer desired. He was happy to stand aside and allow the burden to fall upon his brother. Well, not entirely, he supposed. He was  _ here _ after all, sharing the load.

“Brother?” 

“Hmm?” Loki looked up to see the room’s occupants staring his direction. Luckily, he had presented Thor with the meeting itinerary, so he knew exactly what was being discussed. “Vanaheimr is closest. The people would be welcomed and receive a chance to rest while we barter for supplies.” He spoke like a prince, though his demeanor would argue otherwise. Straightening in his chair, he leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table, regarding Thor. “Perhaps we could call upon the Lady Sif.”

He had expected to be forced to explain himself after the meeting, but had not counted on the 45 minute lecture that followed. 

_ “Why was she banished, brother?” _

_ “She wasn't  _ **_banished_ ** _. She was...relocated to a realm where her talents could be utilized more efficiently.” _

_ “You sent her away so she couldn't use her cleverness to see through your guise.” _

_ “Precisely.” _

_ “Oh, Loki.” _

The Prince ran a hand over his face and then through his long hair. He was tired. No, he was exhausted. Being a decent person was tedious and, frankly, unnerving. Loki had spent most of his life focused on self-preservation and gain. The sudden alternate course had left him more calm and deliberate. Caring for others had never been an attribute he readily embraced. Just as his fingers touched the keypad for his door, he heard the last voice he wished to hear.

“Careful, Lackey. You’ll injure yourself thinking that hard.”

With a dramatic roll of his eyes, he turned to face her. She was in her black leathers, leaned nonchalantly against the wall with a dark bottle of some unbeknownst alcoholic beverage tilted to her lips. “Valkyrie. To what do I owe this—” he purposefully paused “— _ pleasant _ surprise?”

“I’ve just come from the bridge where I found your brother pacing like a caged bilgesnipe.”

Thor. Damnit, of  _ course _ , Thor would send her. “Is that right?”

“It is.”

“And just what, pray tell, does that have to do with me?” He turned to lean on his door, arms crossed and brow cocked. His gaze followed her as she strolled forward casually. His mind continued to scream  _ ‘too close, too close, too close’ _ while he barely bristled physically as she came to a stop just in front of him, forcing him to lower his head to keep eyes on her.

“You’re up to something.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I’m not the only one who thinks it.” She crossed her arms, gently rotating the bottle in her hand. Loki could hear what little liquid was in it sloshing against the sides.

‘ _ Thor knows. The Tesseract. He knows!’  _ “It’s nice to know you have acquired friends that share your interest in me. Now, if you don’t mind—” He took a step back, hoping she would see it as him simply preparing to open the door and not what it really was: a desperate attempt to put distance between them. 

“I’m going to need to check your room.”

“I beg your pardon?” His fingers paused on the keypad for a second time. The look he gave her was not as friendly as the last. “You’ll do no such thing.”

“I’m only doing what your brother refuses. So, think of it as an indirect order from the crown.” Valkyrie drained the rest of the bottle and, instead of her usual toss, sat it gently by the wall. “So, let’s get on with it, shall we?”

Eyes on the warrioress, Loki did a mental inventory of his quarters. Nothing incriminating came to mind, as the Tesseract was safely hidden in a small pocket of space he could reach when things were too big or too valuable to be on his person. The code finally entered, he grasped the handle and deliberately paused once again. “Are you attempting to weasel your way into my bed, dear Valkyrie?” He asked coolly, smug expression earning an irritated eye roll before she pushed him aside to open the door herself.

“Don't flatter yourself.” 

Loki entered behind her with a sigh and closed the door, leaning back against it with his arms crossed. Inconvenient as it was, could he  _ truly _ blame her for her suspicion? He  _ was  _ up to something, after all. A few somethings, if he were being honest with himself. However, none of his schemes involved any sort of harm befalling any individual on the Statesman. The Tesseract  _ had _ to be moved. It would take more than Surtr’s wrath to destroy the cube, let alone the infinity stone held within it. Abandoning it in Asgard’s remains would have ensured Tha— the  _ Titan’s _ claim on it. By taking it and stowing it somewhere between space and time, Loki hoped the cube's call would be contained enough to slow down anyone seeking it. 

Soon, once he knew the ship was on the right path; once he knew the people would be safe; once he knew  _ Thor _ would be safe, he would take the Tesseract and flee. Perhaps he would study its power and master it for his own purposes. Perhaps he would simply run and keep running until he could destroy the cursed thing. All that power, though; all that  _ raw _ ,  _ unbridled _ energy just beyond his fingertips. He could feel the buzz under his skin when it began to call to him, seeking release from its containment, begging to be wielded. He needed only to reach into that pocket of space and—

“Hey!”

Loki snapped back to reality with a pair of dark, narrowed eyes focused on him, searching for something,  _ anything _ to question. “What?” He asked, pushing away from the door to saunter carelessly over to his large bed. Her eyes followed him, but she didn’t move. Not at that moment, anyway. She continued her search, and she was  _ thorough _ . The more time that passed, the more uncomfortable the trickster became. “This is a waste of time, Valkyrie. Get out.” 

She stopped and closed drawer she had rummaged through. “I don’t know what it is, Lackey—”

“Loki.”

“Whatever. But I know you’re hiding  _ something _ . I can  _ feel _ it.” Allowing her obvious irritation to take root in her expression, she leveled a glare on him that only made him smirk. “I will  _ not _ let you hurt your brother.”

“Oh,  _ please _ .” Loki scoffed as he laid back, folding his arms underneath his head. “Spare me your declarations of ineffectual warranties toward my brother. I have no cause nor desire to hurt the buffoon.” 

“He’s your King.” Valkyrie hissed, stepping closer to the bed. “Have you  _ no _ respect for him?” 

Loki regarded her, cocking a brow. “And I am  _ your _ Prince. Have  _ you  _ no respect for  _ me _ ?” He rolled to the edge and to his feet, gracefully covering the short distance between them to tower over her. The Valkyrie raised her chin and squared her shoulders. She definitely did  _ not _ fear him: a trait he found both questionable and arousing. 

“Perhaps I don’t.” The air between them grew tense, nearly suffocating, before the Valkyrie took a step back and broke eye contact. “We're done here.” She spun on a heel and flung the door open with more force than was necessary, making a hasty exit. 

  
Loki just watched her go. “Done?” The corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk as he lazily waved a hand to close the door. Loathe as he was to admit it, Asgard's last Valkyrie  _ was _ a threat. Luckily, he was a master of mischief and she had just given him a wonderful idea. He could both distract her  _ and _ entertain himself. “Oh, but I've only _ just _ begun.”


	5. Loki & Thor: It Isn't in My Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Loki isn't acting normal, Thor demands he get thoroughly checked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a currently discontinued story Until It Sleeps. Loki is with the Avengers and has been feeling ill since they lifted the restrictions on his seidr.

It was just before noon when Loki finally emerged, tying back his hair as he entered the kitchen. Thor had already slept, awoke, and was eating the last of a box of Poptarts. “Brother.” He greeted, his tone laced with concern. The prince looked pale but otherwise fine. “How are you feeling?” 

Loki quirked a brow as he retrieved a banana and set to removing the peel. “Tired but hale.”

“You’re still tired?” Thor rose from the table, brow drawn together. Loki regarded him cautiously, suddenly feeling like he was treading on dangerous ground.

“Yes, brother.” Realization caught up with him as he took the first bite of the fruit in his hand. With a dramatic roll of his eyes, he swallowed before speaking. “I’m fine. It’s simply a side effect of the extended suppression of my magic. I need only time.” This was all  _ so _ Thor. It irritated and comforted the trickster all at once. His brother’s constant need to ensure his safety and well-being was both a blessing and a curse. 

Thor nodded and crossed his arms. He obviously wasn’t buying it. “Then you’ll have no problem allowing Stark and Banner to perform a few tests?” 

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” 

“Absolutely not.” Loki tossed the banana peel in the trash and moved to stand on the opposite side of the table, crossing his arms to mirror his brother. “I’ll not have them poking and prodding at me like some science experiment.” He spun on a heel and exited the kitchen.

“It’s not experimentation, Loki.” Thor dropped his arms and rounded the table to follow Loki into the living room. “We only want to ensure you’re well.” Loki was already sitting on the couch, opening the book he had been reading the previous day. 

“Then  _ believe me _ when I say that I am.”

“But you lie.” Thor retorted. He smiled nervously when Loki cast him an exasperated glare. “Well, you  _ do _ lie.” Another eye roll and then Loki looked back to his book. “Just humor me, brother.” The younger god looked up and ahead at nothing as Thor took a seat next to him. 

“ _ Fine _ , Thor.” He slapped the book closed but left it on his lap. “But when these  _ tests _ show nothing, you’ll feel like the utter fool I already know you to be.” 

“Come,” Thor stood and gestured toward the elevator, “let’s get on with it, then.”

“What?  _ Now _ ?” 

Thor grinned and Loki was overcome by the urge to punch him square in the jaw. “The sooner we get the results, the sooner you may call me a fool.” 

The prince stood and glided toward the elevator with a heavy a sigh. “I already call you a fool.” Thor placed himself at his brother's side, standing tall with his hands folded in front of him. As the doors closed, he jabbed Loki in the ribs with his elbow. “ _ Real _ mature, Thor.”

The brothers were informed that Tony was in the middle of modifying the newest version of his suit when they arrived in the common area. Banner, however, was more than willing to draw some blood for the tests he could run. Loki followed him to his lab in the basement and watched with no real interest as the good doctor inserted the needle into a vein below the crook of his elbow. 

“What exactly are you testing?” Tube after tube was filled, leaving Loki to wonder if some of the blood  _ wasn't  _ indeed for experimentation. 

Banner looked up over his glasses, but only for a beat before looking back to the god’s arm. “We’re going to check your white blood cell count, glucose levels, liver function, and...oh, hey, do you think you can pee in a cup?” 

Loki’s jaw dropped. “I beg your pardon?” 

“Of course, he will!” Thor’s voice echoed from just inside the laboratory door. 

Loki glared at his brother as Bruce removed the needle and placed a cotton ball over the small puncture, guiding the trickster’s other hand to hold it in place. “Bend your elbow.” 

Loki obeyed automatically, never looking away from the Aesir king. “I agreed to a scan and blood tests, Thor!”

“Pee in the cup, Loki.”

“I most certainly will not!”

“You will.”

“I won’t.”

“You will.” 

“There is absolutely no way that I am doing  _ anything _ with that cup.”

**_-5 minutes later-_ **

Bruce held up the urine sample, taking notes regarding time, amount, and color.

“I hate you.” Loki scowled from the chair, blue medical tape wrapped around his arm to hold the cotton in place until it stopped bleeding. Thor stood beside him, grinning.

  
“No, you don't .”


End file.
